She explained that her kids hardly ever saw their father (her husband) because he had to work to support the family and that was just the way it was. She said it with a resigned, ignorant Midwestern pride born from an Industrial era.
I understand the need to work. I understand lean times and being forced to work more than one job. Those are tough decisions, but in most situations, it’s a CHOICE to not spend quality time developing a remarkable relationship with one’s children.
I often post pictures of my children that are accompanied with reflections because whether I’m flush with cash or working three jobs, my #1 choice is to be the best dad I can be. It’s the most important thing there is to me and I’m a very proud dad. Money has nothing to do with it.
It’s not your fault but it might be your responsibility. Certain periods of time can be challenging. Determining how to communicate or when or whether to communicate that to your children (your significant other, etc.) can be difficult. Always – part of that responsibility still involves nurturing the relationship.
One approach is to tell them a story. It starts with the story of someone (i.e. you) who wants to do something, but isn’t, hasn’t or can’t. Yet. The ongoing dialog is around the “yet” part.