I am exactly where I want to be, for better or for worse. I belong right here, right now.
Just for today, anyway.
I don’t know where I’ll end up. I am exploring. I have no goals.
I am a wanderer. When our paths cross, I am loving. I have no expectations.
Just for today. That wasn’t the case yesterday. Maybe not tomorrow, either.
I work hard, but nothing is for keeps. I will work harder yet. I promise not to hold on.
At least not today.
I have attachments. My kids. I love my kids.
I see them half the time. Sometimes more. When I see their mother to exchange our kids, the simplicity mixed with depth that we now share meets my emotional needs beyond the years that have passed between us.
Just for today, anyway.
Just for today: life has delivered me to the foot of my mountain of dreams. I’ve awaken to each tree instead of the entire forest.
Everything is less overwhelming. Just for today, anyway.
Sometimes I get off the Internet. Because connection occurs when I disconnect.
I post my reflections on Facebook about the experiences I have when I am “disconnected”
Today – phone calls, text messages and emails are a suggestion not an obligation.
Real books are beautiful. I went to the library to read them. Today I didn’t read random articles on the Internet. There is no “information” that I am missing.
Just for today, I will do ONE thing. I will not talk about 100 of the other other things. “Doing” is information. “Doing” is experience.
Again, just for today. No guarantees about tomorrow.
Today, I don’t carry desire, possession or control. I have no longings. Fear is gone. Today no anxiety, no stress, no hassles.
Today I’m not asking ‘Why?’
Today, I won’t make room for him or her if I don’t choose to do so. No obligations to anyone or anything. I don’t have space for his projecting. I’m sorry if it’s been a bad day, or a bad life. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that today I choose not to try to understand. Even my own shit.
How? By not asking “why?”
Not today, anyway.
I am not seeking to accomplish anything today. Yesterday maybe that wasn’t the case.
But today… “accomplishment” is society holding me down.
Who is to judge? Maybe I’ve accomplished a lot. Or nothing at all. Either way, today – by my standards – I can afford to give it all away.
Here are the things I know. Just for today, anyway:
1. A story is better than any material gift
2. Joy is a choice from the inside not an emotion that can be given.
3. If I make the wrong choice then be hard on myself, then be hard on myself for being hard on myself, I lose. If I simply don’t judge myself or make others wrong, I win. I like winning!
4. I’m attractive and rich when I am charitable with my love, wonder, kindness, curiosity, friendship and connection. This is the real currency exchange.
5. This is what I know today. Tomorrow the deck is liable to flip, and I’ll change my mind.
Today I have no goals. For so long I have had goals that do not serve me. ie. “Once I achieve ____ (x) I will be _____ (y).”
Today nothing outside me will make me happy. I don’t have room for anything outside of me.
Today = no goals. Instead, I need my hand to hold. If I do so, I will achieve all the goals I never made for myself.
Don’t take advice from me today, and if you read this, thank you. May our next step be lighter than our last.
Just for today, anyway