Here’s Why I Don’t Focus On Happiness (Anymore)

Who doesn’t want to be happy, right?

I recently went through a happiness “curriculum” from a “happiness guru”. It was delivered through email and worth the few weeks of personal study.

Here’s what I learned about myself. It may resonate with you.

I discovered, that for me, it’s not about happiness. It’s about purpose. It’s about clarity of direction. I crave the certainty. It also provides better stability if I deviate from that path. I’m not saying I don’t want to be happy. More so saying these three prerequisites lead towards it.

Here are my three:

1. Freedom – free in this context means not giving power to a person, goal, object or situation.

I practice giving myself that power. That power is choice. Being free is choosing not to dwell in the past or future. Choosing not to attach to anyone’s opinion either. Freedom is the power to choose. And quite a responsibility too!

2. Competence – The only thing that matters, to me, is making things happen.

I gauge my competence on whether or not I get things done. I have difficult problems that I am solving. Or…wait, I rather phrase that by saying, ‘I have solutions to create.’ The more I improve every day, the more competent I become, the more I get things done, the more problems I solve, the closer I am to happiness.

3. Good relationships – no one is more deserving of love than me and you.

We can’t put love into the world until we love ourself first. In my experience, there’s a learning curve to understanding what loving yourself looks like and how to stay strong in that place even when you feel weak. My first task is cutting certain people from my life if that’s what is required, even if I love them. The second task is putting in the effort to surround myself with people who bring out my best.

When I focus on these three things instead of happiness, I’m happier than not doing so.

Personally, I am following those three guidelines to have purpose and clarity of direction. I have faith the rest will work out. I worry less about the rest

This is from the Healthy Living series

I want to be the strongest version of myself so I have a checklist every day that includes physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. More about that here

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