“Overnight Success” and Remarkable Communication

If you want to make six figures, I hope you started two years ago. There is seldom such a thing as over night success. I bookend my end with remarkable communication. I put my thoughts on paper with an aim on getting clear on who I want to be, want I want to represent in the world, and the stories I want to tell.

Subscribe to what I almost know and you already sense here.

Vlog #1 – How To Redirect Your Focus When You’re Suffering in the Moment

We all face tough moments during the day when we feel weak, and when that happens, we lose our focus, we get negative or we lash out in a way that doesn’t serve our best interests. This video explains my experience with those feelings and how I redirect my focus towards something more positive.
 

Reference:

Shine a Light

It’s Your Birthday (50 Cent)

Dig what I’m saying? I communicate what I almost know and you already sense. Subscribe here.

Sunday Newsletter – Meet My New Girlfriend

​I’m still in my pajamas in bed with the laptop. I have a glass of freshly squeezed OJ and a cup of fair trade dark roast. I’m here with my new girlfriend.

The new girlfriend isn’t a human and no… I didn’t order anything from Amazon :-/

The new girlfriend is an idea ​ that I have to be present to every waking moment. ​ Here’s the idea… That I can be courageous enough to say,

“Not this person, nor any other, can ultimately give me what I want. Only I can.”

That’s been the theme in my world this week.

I have talked it over with a couple of friends, a therapist, a coach and I even “tapped” on it with a technique called EFT.

My thinking is that – some day – I will be free to celebrate a relationship for what it can truly give – without having expectations, without wanting more and without compromising what I know to be best for me.

I know in my gut that I can best serve a relationship by becoming sufficiently developed in myself so that I do not have to feed off of others.

Simple concept. Vitally important. This is the crossroads of my life.

Here’s What’s Working

​– ​ I start my day with the “run way.” I find that if I just hop out of bed and ​​ get into the day, I struggle. So I have a piece of paper and I write out my “to do” list. I have to be organized, efficient. Then I write how I want to be i.e. I want to be kind, present, exude good energy, intentional, etc. Then I write down what I see when I look at my vision board. Yes, I created a vision board. I write paragraphs during this part. Here’s an example:

“My second income stream covers child support and pays for the expenses included in traveling to see my son Ben and going to conferences and workshops across the United States.”

— Physical exercise every day is helping to burn off the pain of separation from my ex-girlfriend.

— Consciously “loving” on two people a day is helping me feel closer to my best self. The concept is that twice a day with two different people, I just open my heart to them, speak to them, listen to them, shine on them. It’s a truly amazing practice.

Notice how each of the three items above covers physical, emotional, mental or spiritual health.

Here’s What’s Not Working

— I am only at step one with that idea. I can’t predict the end. There are moments when I STRUGGLE! I have moments in the day when I am not present, when all I want to do is reach out to my ex and find the warmth of our love. And it hurts! My heart hurts, and it beats into my stomach, which creates an uneasy feeling. Sometimes I text or email her my thoughts and reflections instead of closing that door.

— Just how I have my “run way” exercise in the mornings, I need to do the same thing in the evenings. Which considers the wins and the losses from the day and areas to keep rocking it and areas to improve. Else I’m just getting into bed and getting eaten up from the chatter of my lizard brain.

Notice how focused I have to be and how often I have to redirect my focus toward keeping the metaphorical light on myself.

I created a video about what I do to redirect my focus toward the work that I need to do for myself. Check it out here ​

​Ideas for you to try. Ask yourself these questions​

  • Where are you settling for in life?
  • What unaddressed truths to you know about yourself?
  • What is the consequence of not addressing those truths?
  • List all your hopes, dreams and fears that surround these questions.

Here is a quote that stood out to me from a great book that I am reading and recommend to you too.

“The act of consciousness is central; otherwise we are overrun by the complexes. The hero in each of us is required to answer the call of individuation. We must turn away from the cacaphony of the outerworld to hear the inner voice. When we can dare to live its promptings, then we achieve personhood. We may become strangers to those who thought they knew us, but at least we are no longer strangers to ourselves.”

― James Hollis, The Middle Passage: From Misery to Meaning in Midlife. Pg 59

I can reflect that in relationship with other woman, I have been overrun by complexes. Never moreso than in my most recent relationship. I do not trust that I can be in a relationship and create what it is that I need to create for myself and have this relationship with myself. I do not want to settle for this default pattern of behavior anymore. The buck stops with me. So it must be.

Have a great week. As always, reply with your thoughts, insights, questions, etc. I always like hearing from you.

Eric

PS. Here are a few blog posts I published ​this week.

Here at my blog

Redirecting Into My Ground of Being ​
Writing​ for You Today ​
“But Do You Really Love Me?”

At Good Men Project ​ [dot] com

Relationship Baggage – Too Many Loves or Too Many Lovers?

YouTube

How to immediately redirect your focus. Redirect your focus with this simple saying.

Follow me on Twitter

Seems ​ Twitter has been ​first social choice lately. I’m still off of Facebook, and everyone I speak with says “stay off” but for the purpose of spreading my message and my value as far and wide as possible, I will likely return. I’m just dragging my feet about it.

If you liked this newsletter. Get it delivered every Sunday by subscribing here.

Redirecting Into My Ground of Being

I change my ground of being statement as it’s appropriate for the season of growth that I’m experiencing.

Created December 2016

I am present. I am connected. I am creative. I am attractive. I am self respectful. I am kind.

I am confident. I am facing my fears and overcoming them. I am courageous. I breathe deep into my pain. I am opportunistic. I am making my life happen.

I love myself. I am enough. I belong.


Created May 2016

I am present and don’t get my shit on people.

As a father, I am a pillar.

In health, I am prime.

In finances, I am free.

In love, I serve.

I graciously receive what’s offered, and I create massive value.

I fulfill my potential.

Writing For You Today

For you who’s ever been through shit. For you crying on the floor, feeling hard in your pain. I’m writing this post for you. Read this little piece and vibe on it. This moment, right now, is for you to seize. Freeze it, own it, call it golden. Your suffering will make for better days. Your spirit has another day toward its destiny. Take the next step.

I write what I almost know and you already sense. Subscribe here.

But Do You Really Love Me?

But do you really love me? That’s my unanswerable question because I can’t make my unconscious wrong.

It explains why I haven’t found happiness in myself. It’s not possible to find it elsewhere either. As fast as I have ran, I will always have me with me. As many times as I have evaluated, my heart will always outlast the ripples of that thinking. And the things I have blamed… they eventually disappear.

Now that it has become known, I see that it’s written over everything. I’ve been running through the dark, scrawling from door to door like a truant looking for home, asking:

But do you really love me?

I project an old unmet need from my mom onto my romantic partners. They will never be able to love me enough, and similarly, they won’t be enough. Not until I learn to let this question touch me and move on. Not until I reach into that question with both hands and a deep breath to discover the treasure that waits within.

That treasure is where I’ll find the right romantic partner, enough money and so much self love that I determine my own path through this world.

Now that I have discovered this about myself, I feel like something endless in me has broken ground and I have no other choice but to live it and love myself as it grows like a sturdy tree.

For now, it seems all I can do is sit close to the fire of my own experience and let it be a fire that warms me on the coldest nights.


Every week, I give you ideas that in one way or another are actionable towards your growth and support. They come on a Sunday and that’s on purpose. Grab a cup of whatever you love to drink, cozy in, and spend a little time with me. It’s a personable experience. You can hit reply to talk with me. I’m there. Subscribe here.

Sunday Newsletter – Day One of a New Day

Eric Walker middle of nowhere12-11-16

I used to have this day dream when I was student teaching a classroom of 38 sixth graders in inner city Grand Rapids, Michigan when I was 24 years old. It was of retirement. My day dreams just skipped over 30 years of life into this scene.

I had invested wisely. My 401K was maxed. I was in the parking lot of a golf course opening the trunk of a new Cadillac where a shiny set of golf clubs symbolized a new hobby. My speakers were bumping, which symbolized that I still had a rebellious side. I had a pretty, blond wife that took care of herself (and me). I had a brood of kids that looked up to their father. A had a garden and a close relationship with nature. My body was sinewy and strong from the triathlons I’d competed in throughout the years.

Fast Forward 16 Years

16 years later at age 40, my day dream is FAR different. Life didn’t follow that script. Nor do I want it to. Much of that day dream is representative of my naivety. That’s no longer who I am.  I have grown up into a man, and though the dreams have changed, I feel a sense of urgency to reclaim those dreams. This is a similar motif for me, something I’ve struggled with for a few years.

Everything has been stripped bare now, and I have all the capability, language and leadership to help myself (and others too by sharing what I know about my story, and what I’m doing) achieve the meaning, money and love they seek to have in their life.

In this post, I want to tell you where I am now, and the three things that I’m going to consistently focus on overcoming.

Where I Am Now

I’m in a great place to recommit to the important personal work that needs to be done. In the past two years, I have accomplished the following:

1. Brought a daughter into the world during a bitter break up.

I fought in court (and won) for custody. Today, I have a wonderful relationship with my youngest daughter. I am an involved father with half custody of my children. It’s not always easy, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

2. I now have a great co-parenting relationship with the mother of my three children.

We work well together for the benefit of our kids. This is a far cry from where we were two years ago. I’m grateful.

3. I changed careers and got a day job.

This has brought the simple financial security of having bills paid, child support covered and stability. There isn’t anything left over in the bank, but the basics are covered: food, rent, heat, phone, Internet, car, insurance.

4. I am no longer in a romantic relationship. I’m single.

This is fresh, and I am suffering from the pangs of loneliness. At night especially, I ache for the companionship of a relationship (in particular, my ex). I’m learning how to cherish my independence. This is both an accomplishment and something I need to work on. It’s an accomplishment because just facing the fact that I can be alone, independent, happy and successful isn’t something I’ve done before.

5. I re-united with my 12 year old son this past June. benjamin-walker

He lives in Florida with his mom, my ex-wife. You’ll hear more of this story if you continue reading this blog. Ben and I had been separated for the last ten years. It has taken a lot of work with my ex-wife to get to this point. I’m so happy that my son and I met, talked and now the communication lines are open for more of a relationship.

If you’re not going to commit to some particular path of action, what’s going to change?

Here are the paths of action I am committed:

1. Just paying the bills is not enough to sustain a good life.

I will develop a second income that extends from my own consistency and focus. Which means following through on everything I already know to do. I don’t need a course to follow, or a coach to tell me what to do. I simply need to make something happen – like today. It’s launching my idea this week. It’s sending this post to you. It’s calling the three customers I have right now and asking, Who can you refer me to? For me, it’s “touching my business” every day. It’s going to the edge, that edge I’ve been holding back from. I don’t need a plan. I have it memorized from all the times I’ve written it on scraps of paper and discussed it with my people. Now, it’s just time to do it already. This will be the preeminent relationship I nurture this year even if another romantic female relationship were to enter my life.

2. Speaking of romantic female relationships, I’m not entirely clear on something…

I’m asking myself, Do I pick the wrong women? or Do I self sabotage what could be lifetime relationships? Maybe it’s both. Either/or … Why? Why do I choose the wrong partners? Why do I succumb to my self defeating patterns that sabotage the relationship? At the long end of tomorrow, I want to be in a committed relationship and share my life with someone. My work this year will be to get clear about these things and remove the negative emotions associated with them.

Those are the two biggies!

Continued Improvement In These Five Areas

Here’s a short list of the other important aspects of life that aren’t as dire, but equally important that will continue improving, fine tuning and giving time and love to.

1. Raising my children and nurturing our relationship together

2. Continuing to push toward the best physical shape I am capable

3. Setting time aside every week for spiritual development i.e. church, gratitude, meditation

4. Entering a romantic relationship with intention instead of filling a void

5. Loving on other people and offering the “magic” of Eric Walker to all whom I come in contact

Interested in this? Subscribe to what I almost know and you already sense here.

Sincerely,
Eric

1 4 5 6