I am exactly where I want to be, for better or for worse. I belong right here, right now.
Just for today, anyway.
I don’t know where I’ll end up. I am exploring. I have no goals.
I am a wanderer. When our paths cross, I am kind. I have no expectations.
Just for today. That wasn’t the case yesterday. Maybe not tomorrow, either.
I work hard, but nothing is for keeps. I will work harder yet. I promise not to hold on.
I have attachments. My kids. I love my kids. I see them half the time. Sometimes more.
I see their mother to exchange our kids, my co-parenting partner. There is simplicity mixed with depth after all these years. Today.
Just for today.
Today, life has delivered me to each tree instead of the entire forest.
Everything is less overwhelming today. There are no hassles.
Just for today, anyway.
Sometimes I get off the Internet. Because connection occurs when I disconnect.
I post my reflections about the experiences I have when I am “disconnected.”
Today – phone calls, text messages and emails are a suggestion, not my obligation.
Today a real book in my hand is beautiful. I went to the library to read them.
Today, I didn’t read random articles on the Internet. There is no “information” I am missing.
Today I will do one thing. I will not talk about 100 of the other other things.
Today “doing” is information. Today “doing” is experience.
Just for today. No guarantees about tomorrow.
Today, no desire, no possession, no control. I have no longings. Fear is gone.
Today I’m not asking ‘Why?’
Today, I won’t make room for him or her if I don’t choose to do so.
I don’t have space for his or her projecting. I’m sorry if it’s been a bad day, or a bad life. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that today I choose not to try to understand. Even my own shit.
How? By not asking “why?” Not today, anyway.
I am not seeking to accomplish anything today. Yesterday that wasn’t the case.
Today “accomplishment” is society holding me down.
Today no one is judge. Especially not me. No inner voices that say I have or have not.
Today I can afford to give it all away.
Here are the things I know, if just for today:
- A story is better than a material gift
- Joy is best. Joy is a choice from the inside, not an emotion that can be given.
- If I make the wrong choice then be hard on myself, then be hard on myself for being hard on myself, I lose. If I don’t judge myself or make others wrong, I win. I like winning!
- I’m attractive and rich when I am charitable with my love, wonder, kindness, curiosity, friendship and connection. This is gold to me.
- Tomorrow the deck is liable to flip, and I’ll change my mind.
Today I have no goals.
For so long I have had goals that do not serve me.
ie. “Once I achieve ____ (x) I will be _____ (y).”
Today nothing outside me will make me happy. I don’t have room for anything outside of me.
Today = no goals.
Instead, I hold my own hand. If I do so, I will achieve all the goals I never made for myself.
Don’t take advice from me today, and if you read this, thank you. May our next step be lighter than our last.
At least for today.